


Don't Forget About Me

by hartfordwhalers



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Cake, Friendship, I forgot it's also, Implied/Referenced Suicide, In it's own way, M/M, Sad Ending, Suicide, Swearing, Triggers, and it's pretty bad, idk what I'm doing with these tags ok, it mentions, ok hope you enjoy!!!, this could be, this sounds so dark but I promise the ending is kinda happy, trigger warning, triggering, yikes sorry if it's bad because idk what I'm doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 15:10:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3941461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hartfordwhalers/pseuds/hartfordwhalers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Please don’t forget about me,” Luke whispered as he looked at me with hopeful eyes, but by that time, I was completely asleep and drifting off to my inner most fantasies. With worried eyes, Luke turned onto his back and murmured a goodbye before falling into a troubled sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Forget About Me

**Author's Note:**

> okay hi! this is my first fic so hopefully it's okay enough. and it has a major trigger warning that involves basically suicide and being forgotten. so if you're easily triggered, please don't read this story! hope you enjoy it!! :-)

“Do you believe in forever?” he asked me. It seemed like a weird question but I guess it made sense. At the time, I had barely known anything about the world, so the answer was obvious. I snuggled further into my blue sleeping bag before answering him.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it?” I rolled by brown eyes, in awe of how stupid my friend could be. Why wouldn’t forever exist? If it didn’t exist, where did all those promises people made me, go?

I stared out the treehouse window, looking at the stars that shone so brightly above our heads. They looked so close, but they were so far away. He shuffled around in her sleeping bag before replying.

“I don’t know,” his voice trailed off, “I guess I’m just really scared for school. They won’t like me, Calum.” Luke was almost whimpering at this point. Luke had always been a little timid in new places, and kindergarten was no exception.

I scrunched my brow as I thought; there were some pretty mean kids that he knew was going to school, but I was confident that they wouldn’t be mean to me. No one has a reason not to like me; I’m not mean like Tommy Hilgen and I don’t wipe my nose on my sleeve like Kevin Marcle. It suddenly dawned on me that Luke could be a target because he cried so easily. I glanced over at my blonde haired friend, his tiny body scrunched into a ball inside his rocket patterned sleeping bag.

“It’s going to be fine, Luke. No one couldn’t not like you. Besides, if they try to hurt you, I’ll scare them away with my fist,” I waved my fist in the air, my knuckles almost white. Luke was half a year younger than me, and I was my job to look after him. Jack was in third grade and he didn’t want to stay with Luke every recess, which left it up to me.

Even in the dark, I could practically see his face light up with joy. “Really? Thanks Calum!” He smiled, but then continued after a short pause. “We’re going to stay best friends forever.”

I grinned. “No one could ever pull us apart,” I proclaimed before readjusting my pillow and yawning. “I’m glad that we’re best friends.” I turned on my side to face him.

“Me too. Goodnight,” Luke replied.

“Goodnight,” I responded, looking at his crystal blue eyes full of joy before finally closing mine.

 

* * *

 

 

We returned to the treehouse a few summers later, the one we had always spent our summers in. Luke no longer had a rocket patterned sleeping bag, but I still had my blue one. We laid them out next to each other and angled them so we could both see the stars.

There was a long silence before Luke spoke. “We’re still friends, right Cal?” His words were barely a whisper, but they were so clear in the humid summer atmosphere. The stars gleamed like an array of jewels, wishing for someone to get up and reach for them, far, far away.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t we be?” I turned to him, expecting to see his face but only seeing the side of his face. He closed his eyes, hiding his intense baby blues, and pursed his lips before replying.

“Because… I think we’re drifting.” The words that spiralled out of his mouth sounded pained, as if he died with every word that he said. Luke tugged the sleeping bag up and hid half of his face in it, even though sweat was practically dripping down the wooden planks that made our tree house. His eyes remained shut and his eyebrows turned upwards.

I inched a little closer to him, confused at what he meant. We’re drifting? “What do you mean, Luke. We hung out like two weeks ago. I just didn’t have time because of Michael and Ashton and all of those people, but we’re hanging out right now,” I reasoned, trying my best to muster up a smile, but failing and only giving him half of one. I knew he couldn’t see me.

Luke mumbled his bit before turning his back to me. “You’re going to forget about me. We’re going into high school and you’re becoming more popular. And, well, I’m just… me,” he trailed off. I could hear him cracking his knuckles, which meant that he was nervous.

I gave him a face that conveyed my disbelief. “Shit man, we’ve been best mates since we were three, and that isn’t going to change. I’m not going anywhere, and you’re not going anywhere. Best friends forever, right?” The moment he turned to me, I gave him a crooked smile, then reached out of my sleeping bag and pointed at a star.

“We’ll be like the north star, always in the same place, no matter what,” I reassured him. The star twinkled back at us with confidence, unaware that things would go horribly wrong. Slowly, my eyelids started drooping from the heaviness of sleep.

“Please don’t forget about me,” Luke whispered as he looked at me with hopeful eyes, but by that time, I was completely asleep and drifting off to my inner most fantasies. With worried eyes, Luke turned onto his back and murmured a goodbye before falling into a troubled sleep.

 

* * *

 

I came up to my old treehouse with four cans of beer and two plastic cups. Luke sat quietly in the corner and accepted the bubbling cup of alcohol, but didn’t take a single sip out of it. Meanwhile, I was downing the liquid at a pace faster than comprehension.

The lanky boy wrung his hands while watching me drink. The bitter and putrid taste of the beer washed down my throat. I was tempted to spit it out, but I wanted to show Luke that I could take it.

The boards that we had been sitting on all our lives were chipping. Splinters of wood came off every day. The nails that kept the treehouse together were rusty from the many humid summers it endured. Our growing bodies could no longer comfortably sit on the floor without crossing our legs. As we got older, the treehouse aged with us.

Even though alcohol was said to loosen the atmosphere, it only worked if both parties downed their fair share. The plastic cup I gave to Luke remained untouched, so I took it off of his hands and drank it for him. A sense of calmness and happiness washed over me with each sip I took. I looked outside as the sun set in the horizon in layers of reds and purples, illuminating Luke’s face.

“You’re killing yourself, you know,” he told me, pointedly looking at the three out of four cans that I had already consumed. Their emptiness filled my stomach with content.

I could only imagine that I had the stupidest smile when I told him that it was fine, then proceeded to pour myself another cup of the amber liquid.

Luke gingerly put his hand on my hand, making me lower the cup from my lips. He looked me straight in the eye in a threatening manner before telling me to stop. I only laughed in his face and drank the remainders in three gulps. After I finished drinking, I wiped the remaining drops of beer off of my face with my arm and gave him a loopy smile. I felt light, but heavy at the same time; like I could do anything and nobody could stop me.

“Look at you, Hemmings, trying to control me,” I smirked as I mechanically reached for the empty can, hoping to siphon the remaining drops out of the dry can.

“I’m not trying to control you,” he frowned, “I’m just trying to be a good friend." I couldn't tell at the time, but he was visibly upset. His eyebrows were turned downwards by the slightest degree and his fist was clenched in a fist so tight that his knuckles turned white.

Yet, everything was still a joke to me. Luke's features blurred together when my drunken brain decide to stop distinguishing the background from the foreground. I laughed, dropping the can of cheap alcohol at my feet, the jingle of the metal mingling with my laugh laced with sarcasm.

"I'm just trying to have fun, Luke. Loosen up a little. Don't be so uptight." My hand made contact with his shoulder and he leaned against the wooden walls. His jaw clenched tightly; so tight that his teeth could’ve broke under the pressure.

He could’ve punched me right there and then. He had just turned seventeen; Luke wasn’t the tiny and lanky boy I knew. Instead, he had grown more broad, taller, and stronger despite what he thought; he had always been bigger than me. Three punches could have sent me sprawling on the hard floor of our treehouse, or at least put some sense into my dizzy mind. However, Luke just kept on clenching his fist to get his breathing under control. He should’ve punched me. I wish he had punched me. But the kid was just too damn polite.

I smirked again, flicking my hand nonchalantly, nearly drunk. I didn’t know that the words I would utter would be the ones that I would regret the most. “Maybe if you relaxed a little, people might start to notice you and actually like you,” I joked. Only it wasn’t a joke to him. The blue eyed boy gritted his teeth and practically spat at my drunken state.

“You know what, Hood?” He took a deep breath and glared at me. “I’m sorry that I can’t be you, but I wouldn’t want to be you; you’re a fucking asshole.” He furrowed his brow and pointed at me with an accusing finger.  With that, he pulled himself out of the tight door and started climbing down the worn rope ladder, skipping every two steps. I couldn’t tell at the time, but he just wanted to get the hell away from me.

Shocked by his sudden outburst, I began shooting venom at him. “I didn’t need you anyway” I yelled after him. His stuck his middle finger out and pointed at me while he was walking away. I could hear his black vans crushing the pavement.

Never had I thought that our fifteen year friendship would end over something as stupid as alcohol. I guess the ads were right; booze and drugs ruin everything. As he was walking away, I was still fuming. I was angry at Luke for calling me an asshole, for causing our friendship to end. Only now do I realize that I’m still angry, but it’s at myself for being a dick.

 

* * *

 

A long shadow fell upon the lawn in front of me. When I looked up from the lawn mower I was so diligently cleaning, I saw the scratchy face of my long time friend. His face seemed longer than usual, and the bags under his eyes only got bigger. He looked like a mess, but I guess I did the same; I was sweaty and I hadn’t gotten much sleep the week before.

“Hi.” He still spoke as softly as ever.

I used the back of my hand to wipe the sweat off my brow, effectively sticking some grass on my forehead. It was noon and the sun was directly overhead, heavily beating down on my neck.

I could only utter a single word.

“Hi.”

Proceeding that, I shoved my hands into my pockets, disregarding the fact that I had cut grass all over my hands. I could feel the turf sift weight as he shuffled closer to me.

“How are you?” he asked awkwardly, looking at my feet instead of at me.

I forced a smile and looked at him while he couldn’t meet my eyes. “Great,” I lied. Except for that fact that my best friend since we were three was no longer talking to me. Expect for the fact that I felt like shit because I caused out falling out. “How are you?” I continued.

“I’m okay. I could be better,” he laughed nervously and resumed avoiding my gaze. He was shifting around, he way he always did when something was bothering him. He had been doing it a lot since we met because he was just that way: a feelings bottler. Whenever he needed to talk about anything, he would just bottle up his feelings and save it for one day when it would all come crashing down on him. Both of us dreaded those days.

“Good, good,” I repeated. There was a gale of wind, making my skin prickle at the cold.

And then there came the silence. That unbearable tension that no one ever knows how to fill up. It seemed like every second spend in that moment was at least a couple years, if not centuries. We hadn’t properly spoken in almost glanced at my lawn mower again, itching to be alone and clean the grass off without guilt constantly interrupting my thoughts.

I pointed at the machine with my thumb and met his eyes. “I need to get back to the lawn mower, but it was nice seeing you,” I pursed my lips and waved to him, a sign for him to go away. My back started to turn around, but he stayed and grabbed my wrist, making me spin around.

“I just need to get something off my mind,” he took a breath before that moment.

The moment.

The moment when he leaned forward and gently pressed our lips together, igniting a chain reaction in my mind that lit my heart on fire. Luke smelled like the typical seventeen year old boy, but he tasted like cinnamon and daisies. I was falling, not physically but mentally. So I closed my eyes and heard him whisper, “I am so sorry,” before pulling away from me. I opened my eyes and saw him running away from me, his legs flailing wildly; he left before I could say goodbye, and I think about it every day.

 

* * *

 

I thought that I would be partying with Luke on his 18th birthday, getting drunk and having the greatest time of our lives. I never thought that I would become so ignorant that I would forget my best friend’s birthday and get drunk without hm. I never thought that I would wake up the next morning hungover on a random person’s couch. I never thought that when I would check phone, I would see one missed call from the forgot friend, ten from my mother, and three from my sister.

The only explanation I have if that I didn’t know what would happen, and it made me feel stupid. When I arrived home in clothes that reeked of sweat and beer, my parents weren’t mad at me. Instead, my mom grabbed me and wrapped her arms as tightly as she could around my lean body, breaking out in tears. Her words echoed in my head for a long time.

“You’re okay. You’re still here and I love you. Please don’t ever leave me.” Her speech was garbled and I could barely understand what she was saying.

I hugged her back and shot a questioning face a Mali-Koa, but she just met me with a pained face.

“Is everything okay, Mom?”

She shook her head, crying her eyes out. My mom put her hands on her face and whispered to me. “Luke is dead.”

I thought that I didn’t hear her clearly, so I asked her to repeat herself. Now the image of my family crying and frantically trying to call me when I was partying all night was engraved in my mind.

“L-L-Luke… is dead?” I whispered. My disbelief was met which tearful nods. “But that’s impossible! He visited me yesterday!”

My dad wiped some tears off his face.

I gave them horrified looks. “Is this some kind of sick joke? Because it isn’t fucking funny!” I yelled, stomping my feet on the ground like I did when I was a kid.

“Cal… This isn’t a joke. He killed himself last night. Liz found him in the treehouse with a bottle of pills in his hand.” She paused. “He’s gone.”

That’s when it all came crashing down.

And I never thought that I would be spending the week of my friend’s birthday burying him six feet under.

The weight of his coffin forced me to face reality; the reality that I had inadvertently killed Luke by forgetting about him. I trudged through the slightly muddy ground, which would surely ruin my shoes. It was sprinkling lightly, but nothing could stop me from doing this. I couldn’t fail him this time, not again.

It was shocking when I saw his pale skin and his purple lips, the same ones that touched my lips just a few days ago. The feeling of falling returned to the pit of my stomach every time I thought about the kiss. I thought that he would wake up any minute and tell me a cheesy joke or a funny story. Instead, I was met with a somber silence that drilled itself into my mind. Luke was gone forever.

I snapped back to the present when we set the coffin on the ground. I had to watch my six foot tall friend go underground six feet. All of this was unreal; it took a while to wrap my head around the idea that it was Luke’s body that was in the coffin.

As the coffin was lowered into the grave, a tears started rolling down my face, mingling with the now heavier rain. The rain drops collided with the hard wood of the coffin, shattering my heart in the process. Luke’s funeral would be his last rainstorm. The droplets rolled off the smooth shell, dripping down the sides and into the hole.

I was screaming and drowning on the inside. Somehow, I could physically feel my heart breaking. It made my upper body go numb. Why did Luke leave me? Why did he have to kiss me? The more questions I had, the more confused I felt, and the more confused I felt, the more frustrated I became. I was angry at Luke for leaving me. I was angry at Luke for killing himself. I was angry at Luke for letting me forget him. He said forever, but forever was such a short amount of time.

But what I was most angered by was the fact that I let myself forget him, and I was still kicking myself for that.

I bit my lips and put my hand on my forehead, trying to shield my teary eyes from everyone else. Dumbass, why did you forget about your best friend? It’s all your fucking fault. I didn’t want to cry, but I couldn’t stop the fat droplets from pouring out. The rain pounded against my suit, becoming increasingly heavy.

All of a sudden, on the ground next to me, I saw a black pair of vans and some skinny jeans. I looked at the person’s face and Luke glanced back at me. He smiled bigger than he had his entire life and reached for my hand,lacing our fingers together. I could feel his cold pinky ring against my numb palm.

“I love you Cal. And it’s going to be okay.” He squeezed my hand in reassurance.

“How do you know?”

“He smiled his lopsided smile. “Because you didn’t forget about me.”

I thought about our last kiss. The way everything played out in the end before I responded. But he was gone. I blinked again, and he was still gone. Luke left before saying goodbye.

“I love you too,” I whispered, clenching my fist.

And I’ll never forget you.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for it being so sad and kinda bad. I felt like it got super messy and boring at the end but it took forever to write :-( this was inspired off of a fanfic from a different fandom and I read it a couple years ago, so I forgot the title. It was also inspired by a song by P!nk (I heard it on the radio and it's a pretty old song) and I just thought of this. try to guess the song!!! thanks for reading!! :-)


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